A very long pause – but I cannot escape the inevitable. It’s who I am.
The long dark teatime of freedom.
I’ve spent 7 years with chastity as part of my sexual identity, and that’s a very long time. Especially when ADHD makes things unreliable shall we say. I could get “bored” at the drop of a hat, or be so intensely into it for anywhere up to a few months. Making something consistent is bloody hard with this brain.
I keep returning to things – some favourite hobbies are things I keep coming back to, but never mastering enough. Chastity is yet another thing I keep coming back to. I really can’t escape it, even when unlocked.
This time, it was different. Unfortunately I’d started to suffer some mobility issues. First it was plantar fasciitis, which then lead to knee pain, then hip pain, and finally lower back pain. My work went from lots to barely able to walk to the motorbike to get to the clients I work with. It sucked. It robbed me of everything.
I went for X-Rays, and they didn’t show arthritis. I’m at the age where it might start as early onset but was ruled out. Got referred to physiotherapy, who said it wasn’t muscular (despite feeling like my muscles were failing at times). Got referred back to have blood tests, which showed me as a normal human being (HA!).
After all this, I decided on one last shot – and pushed hard to see a particular GP in our practice who specialises in mobility issues and sport injuries. He’s retiring very soon so I had one last attempt and got in. He gave me an examination, and then weighed me. As soon as he entered the weight into my medical records he found the issue. I’d been putting on huge amounts of weight. Like 25kg in less than 6 months.
The other thing he did was to say that it was just stress on the joints. It was important to keep mobile and I was fine to do low impact exercise. I had bought an exercise bike, but reluctant to use it (even the physiotherapist would refuse to say it would help…lol). I started using it, and within three days – I was walking much better. Sadly the bike would fail, but I then invested in a rowing machine, as the exercise covers almost all my body, and I love it. Yes, I went for an expensive Concept 2 rower – but hey, I spent hundreds on covering my dick, so why not invest in the rest of my body?
I’m now down about 20lbs, and got another 30 or so to go. Here’s hoping for ongoing progress.
Making a fresh start.
One of the big things with losing the weight was an improved sense of self. Whether that’s from the ‘high’ I get from exercise, or just being more mobile generally, I would naturally gravitate back to getting locked once more.
Being so long since I’ve done it before meant that it would be back to square one once more. However I have the hindsight of the amazing progress I have achieved before. I’m already at the 3-4 day stage, and about to drop an order for a PA ‘pee-thru’ wand from BadAssWorkroom.
My wife has been making noises about how she misses it, which is great. I’m just letting her stew in it – one thing I really want is for her to really be 100% more confident in doing these devious things. Before it’s been a lot of talking and suggesting and hinting and pushing (or nudging, pushing seems to ‘topping from the bottom’). I would love for her to just turn round and demand I be locked. To come home from work and find her waiting with collar in hand.
She’s been going through her own issues, and with a fresh diagnosis on her hormone issues it means she’s now on some fresh regimens for it. One of those includes a testosterone boost which last time she took it, became a very horny woman. So I’m looking forward to, but also dreading when that is kicking in and stabilised.
But I haven’t been slacking off from my side. Just leaving little hints and insinuations that I’m exploring this side of things again. Enough to give her the hint that it’s not a closed off option, but something that (I hope) she connects the dots and comes into her own to push for that renewed kinky times once more.
Gonna be tough though given that although she’s accepting of a lot, she’s not inherently kinky in thoughts outside of those intimate moments. We shall see.
Tie me up or tie me down.
With all this, I am not trying to rush things. But I would love to get to the point of being tied up again. There’s something very zen about the experience. However, it’s a “late game” part of our intimate times, so patience is needed here. Hopefully as we grow back into the relationship dynamic, and as our business grows and provides disposable funds again (tax time and a quiet period sucked our spare funds) we could invest in some more good rope, some more unique restraints and she can go to town making me suffer and squirm. Something that pays to both our natures.
I think at some point I’ll have to write about the effect that bondage has on me. It’s a strange thing. I should struggle, but I don’t. I should feel trapped and to an extent I do. But overall I don’t feel trapped in the sense to cause me to panic. It’s trusting the partner and knowing that despite the predicament, you’re safe… Paradoxical really.
Haven’t made many of these recently – life and other things (see above) got in the way, and my creativity took a bit of a tumble for a while… But I’m feeling creative again, and with a lot of inspirational images after much searching the archives expect more very soon!
Chastity Caption (meme, akshully) of The Week
This week – it’s a meme instead. Made me chuckle so hope you get a laugh out of it too!
I’ve finished making some graphical/typeface tweaks across the site. If there’s anything out of place, shout at me on twitter.
And don’t forget – I’ve added a page for all my own Caption creations – you can see it here at Everyday Chastity Captions. You can also find my Vintage Chastity Captions here. A longer term goal for this page is to allow a bulk download of the images so you are free to use, share and enjoy!
See you all next week, and stay locked. If you’re not locked, WHY THE HECK NOT!!!