An interesting couple of tweets gets me thinking about the nature of being a submissive to my wife…
Submissive men are strong, proud men, with sufficient integrity and courage to ignore the norm, follow their heart and surrender to their Queen!
by Asmi.
I’ve seen some interesting posts on chastity Twitter recently, where Dommes were complaining about the nature of their male subs and how these women were being treated. A lot of the complaints seem to be centred around something I found completely antithetical to being a submissive in the first place: the sub was making the demands.
Submission is up for women to define. Get rid of your fantasies. It can be hard labour, chastity or lose of decisive power.
Go check out @MsReneeLane s FLR film https://t.co/IhWc33VMfy pic.twitter.com/4q4lddgM1O— Sahara (@Sahara52166573) May 26, 2022
Frustrating week, I was hurting & sex was the cure!
Asked reputable male subs if they would help relieve my pain with g-spot massage.
100% of the “service submissives” counter-offered with what THEY wanted me to do to THEM instead, promising to MAYBE reciprocate later? pic.twitter.com/eXYDPe4WWk
— AliceInBondageLand (@BondageLand) May 25, 2022
Now, understandably, being a submissive is not being a doormat, nor a place where someone should be easily prone to abusive behaviours. But the opposite is true. Once the boundaries are set between the Domme and sub, then the sub’s role is to fulfil the needs of the Domme. The Domme in turn can either fulfil the desires of the sub in specific ways, or not. The sub, by the very nature of being submissive has no say in this. Kinks and fetishes seem to be the problem here – “I want x thing done by my Domme”. This seems to be wrong from the perspective of the Domme, who should be the authority.
In the case of my submissive relationship to my wife, I would love for a lot of kinky things to happen (and even some not so kinky things, but hey ho). I don’t always get those kinky things, or not the way I expect. Sure, I’m sometimes disappointed, but here’s the thing: I am the submissive. Whatever I get is a gift from her. Whatever happens (or not) is up to her. We have the boundaries, she has the power in the relationship.
I have to be the strong, proud man and suck up my ego, spit it out and kneel before my Queen wife and ask what would I need to do to please her the most. I surrender to her. To her ideas of what she wants, what she thinks I want, and fashion my understanding and expectation from that.
Most definitely not the other way round.
I’m no means perfect, my ego wins sometimes. All it takes from my Queen is to threaten a paddle, or remove some privilege, or something and it’s bringing me back to ground. No longer am I being selfishly conceited, but instead it’s a metaphorical slap across the face bringing me back to the reality of needing to serve my Queen, to be in the place where I become my happiest, my energies are higher, my life feels more fulfilled through serving her.
From there, I’m I a place of submission again. Occasionally I don’t want to be, but subconsciously I know it’s better for me longer term. Most of the time I’m happy when I am in that place. It’s natural for me.
As a final thing, here’s the panel from Wonder Woman which is from the article’s [original] featured image (changed the featured image, but kept this as it’s awesome:
I created a graphic version for sharing:
